My mental health – Pete Goldring (Co-founder – happystride)
Posted by Peter Goldring on
I thought it would be pertinent with it being Mental Health Awareness Week to talk a bit about my mental health and the tools I use to support myself.
Like a lot of us, at times in my life I have suffered with my mental health. From being a young boy to now, and as I have got older I have really learnt a lot about myself and how to deal with my mental health. I think everyone gets anxiety and struggles with their mental health at some stage.
Last year we experienced the worst trauma of our lives, when we had our beautiful 2nd baby girl, called Ruby at 32 weeks. We were devastated that after 6 days in the NICU at Royal London hospital, we had to say goodbye to little Ruby due to severe brain damage. This by far is the biggest trauma/event I have ever had to deal with in my 40 years. Having and still dealing with this trauma is challenging to say the least.
Running has really helped me. I began running over 16 years ago, when I was challenged by a friend James Elson (a keen runner working in advertising) to run a marathon, with 3-4 months worth of training. I took that challenge on and with his help completed my first marathon (Essex Marathon) in 3 hours 44 mins.
Since then I have gone on to complete 68 marathons and ultra marathons, with a marathon PB of 2h56.01 – and have run distances of up to 100 miles in one go. Running has been one of the best things that has happened to me and is a big part of my toolkit – I run 6-7 days a week, mostly in the mornings. I really believe a run in the morning sets you up nicely for the day, gets those endorphins going, a rush of blood to the head to make you more alert and feeling energised.
“Running makes you happy” – it really does and that is why it is the mantra of our family business, happystride, and why we make a donation to a mental health charity from every product sold. This year we are supporting CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) who have been helping to prevent suicide since 2005.
I honestly think it’s great now that men can talk about their mental health. The reason why I am writing this piece is to create awareness and show it’s OK to not be okay and to share some of the ways I help myself. I’ve also found that it’s good to talk about it. My therapist, Trish, who I have been seeing since Ruby passed last August, challenged me to use my platform to share how I've supported my mental health recently, and here I am. I’m always open to talking about how I am feeling and also what happened to Ruby – it makes me feel better.
Over the last 9 months since Ruby passed I have spoke a lot about my “toolkit” which I dip into daily and I wanted to share.
My 5 things I do which make me feel better and allow me to perform to my best on a daily basis whether that be at work, my relationships, my family, friends and overall, are:
1. Daily run: As I said running makes me happy – I believe it really helps me be a better person. It challenges me, it drives me and makes me better. This might only be a few miles but I really need it for my day. I would also add getting outside into this point, as getting outside in nature is really important. I also enjoy running with friends where we catch up and speak a lot about our lives and what’s going on.
2. Cold water therapy: 18 months ago I read the “Wim Hoff Method” book and since then I have really gotten into cold showers. Now, every day I have a 2 minute cold shower at the end of my warm shower. It gives me a real buzz and makes me feel alive for the day ahead. Other health benefits include improves metabolism, improves circulation, reduces inflammation and minimises heat loss. I started on 15 seconds and built up. My advice is to take deep breaths and dance around the shower. Try it!
3. Breathwork: On a daily basis I do the Wim Hoff breathing method – this really calms me down and relaxes me plus gives me loads of energy. Try this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ&vl=en . Breathing is a tool we all have for free and can use at any point. Before a big presentation, event or something which may make you feel anxious try and take a few deep breaths. I find it really helps me before bed to get a good sleep.
4. Drawing club: Drawing club is something I have been doing since Ruby passed with my daughter Polly. How does drawing club work? We pick out Polly’s favourite characters – Peppa pig, Frozen, Bluey, etc and we draw them ourselves and colour them in. It’s very relaxing and therapeutic, and it’s a great opportunity to spend time with each other. There is definitely something around drawing/colouring and being creative, which allows you to switch off and relax.
5. Practising gratitude: Be grateful for what you do have. Try and focus on what you do have vs what you want. We naturally as humans will want more but I think being grateful on a daily basis can really help. It can really help overall happiness and wellbeing.
These are my 5 components of my toolkit…I am thinking of adding journaling into the mix, but maybe not on a daily basis.
If you’re struggling there is always someone who can help, there are local in-person support groups, charities like CALM, or tell your family or a friend. Speak up, I really do believe talking about it really helps.
Happy running
Pete (Co-founder) happystride